Impossiblemaker

This post requires a prelude.

Prelude:

Several months ago, this spring, I was a new Housewife. A new Housewife, who thought, "Surely, now that I am a Housewife, I will have time to take on a more active role in the PTO." You know, more than just baking brownies and attending (most of) the monthly meetings. So I volunteered to be Field Trip Coordinator.

They make this seem like an esteemed position by having an election for it. The first clue that it is not should have been when no one was running for it. So I "won." Perhaps you have made a similar mistake. If people thank you for volunteering for a position and no one is running against you, you might want to start running away.

So, Now:

I've now been Field Trip Coordinator for several months and I am ready to resign. Exactly one field trip has happened. I have had to employ all of my skills from 15 years of working in an office to get this far. There is no budget to work with, just a random set of rules. Despite years of going through this drill, most teachers do not seem to have any trip plans. I think some of them regard me as the Field Trip Fairy and are waiting for me to wave a magic wand and make some school busses transport them away to a mystical Field Trip Place. The previous Field Trip Coordinator tries very hard to be helpful, but there are a lot of random tasks involved that were not previously mentioned, such as how I need to photocopy and distribute the permission forms.

To be fair, the first field trip went fine. The second field trip is tomorrow and the planning aspect went well. The third field trip was NOT the charm. The bus company claimed they didn't get my request. I called three times before they told me, a week before the trip, that they didn't have any busses. Other bus companies cost twice as much. I'm frankly surprised we were able to get any busses at all that late in the game. Then the PTO officers balked at paying the invoice, despite the fact that the field trip cost falls well within the random rules prescribed. They want me to go back to the teacher and say it's only okay if they agree to have their second allotted trip (one of the rules is that each grade gets 2 trips) be an in-school "trip."

In lieu of resigning, I will be discussing the random rules and proposing operating off of a budget instead. At tomorrow night's PTO meeting. It has not escaped me that a resignation of this position is not without consequences, including years of public shame and hiding my face every day at student drop off and pickup.  I do not want my legacy to involve PTO shame.

This position is not without personal costs. My housewifely duties have been neglected while I email and call the same people again and again. The laundry got wrinkled; the bills are unpaid. I had to break open a beer at 1 PM.

Coordinator is a pretty title that means Impossiblemaker. I've been a Coordinator before; I should have known. Everyone you are coordinating with wants you to make the impossible happen. But I lack the Fairy magic to be Impossiblemaker. I am simply -

-A Real Housewife of the North Shore